A Christmas Night Affair
a poem - when Santa came around
some candy canes and chocolate bites
Santa’s coming so soon tonight
there’s cookies for him and a
glass of milk
I don’t have a chimney for
him to get in like silk
how will that work
no fireplace, no chimney, no luck
you guessed it
he’s going to fuck it up
maybe he’ll climb through a window
or open one of my doors
I don’t think he’ll fit or he’ll
get very sore
I unlocked the windows
put the dog by the door
to guard against imitations
of Santas through the door
I wait in anticipation and start
to hear creaking sounds
of a Santa stuck in the window
he’s too big and round
sitting on the downstairs bottom steps
watching the show
of Santa taking his pants off
squeezing in the window
at least not a burglar or a foe
I tried not to giggle and disturb his
night’s work
he might take back the presents he brought
if he thinks I’m a jerk
now back through the window
he placed his stuffed bag
leaving his pants off
trying not to lag
he can’t seem to get through
so I give him a shove
and throw him his pants
and said, “Goodnight, my love.”
his eyes all a twinkle
his beard white as snow
Santa’s red cheeks became redder
he was embarrassed, you know
then he laughed at being discovered
he said thanks and goodbye
I handed him the cookies
before he did fly
it was a special night to see
Santa big and round
even without his baggy pants on
he still made quite the Christmas sound
I waved goodbye as he flew into
the air
the reindeer shit on my lawn
such was my Christmas night’s affair
reindeer poop and Santa stuck in the
window, and Santa without his pants
I must be dreaming
the story makes for a good rant.
Merry Christmas! Thanks for reading.
Website: https://www.gpassarelli.com
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